Who hates hi ku?

I remember someone telling me they hate haiku. I don't remember why. Something about it being too simple, or too obvious. At the time I thought, "Yeah, f' haiku." Cause, it does seem kinda high-school, right?

Then I read my some verse from my buddy Niilo and realized how awesome haiku is. It's totally short and simple, but if done right ... Anyway, I like Niilo's haiku (it's the same pluralized). It reminds me of what I've read from Leonard Cohen. And I mean that as a sincere compliment.

My favorite:

46
sitting on the deck
if you can call it a deck
you can’t, really, though

35
a new year in the old town
so many friends are missing
win some, you lose some

What I want: Vol. 7

* One pair super-fancy-east-coast-rich-guy sun glasses from the J. Crew. Who cares if they're probably too big for my face.

* A motorcycle. An expensive, vintage one, with way too much horse power. Or an space age concept bike, something I could either A.) never ride, or B.) crash into a fence or a tree or a house or another car. But I would look so cool doing it, right?

The cow I have to see butchered

My partner (artistic, not life), Will, is no longer employed. He says this is his final act of journalism. We will see. But it stuck me today (well, Wednesday, and then yesterday and again today) just how bad things are for a lot of people right now and how lucky I am to have a job. One that I (if you've got to have one) like. Until now I have been able to not think about it. But Will brings it shockingly close. It's like how I can eat a hamburger because I don't have to see the 200 or so cows that are slaughtered and ground up and sent out across the country. Essentially, Will is that cow.

Movie review: Teeth

"Teeth"

Remember the movie poster for "Lolita"? The one with the picture of Sue Lyon sucking on a lollipop with the heart glasses and above her in bright red, "How did they make a movie of "Lolita"?

You can ask the same question about "Teeth?" How did they make a movie about a girl with a vagina full of shark teeth?

The answer: Full-on, witout holding anything back. You're wondering, "Wait? They show it?" No. But they do show the damage it can cause, which is essentially a bevy of severed fingers and penises. In graphic detail. Lots of screaming and lots of blood and pretty much nothing left to the imagination.

Warning to the boys: This will make you squirm.

Boil it down and "Teeth," is essentially the story of a girl coming to realize the full power of her womanhood. It's hard for a man to take advantage of you when you can seduce him (easily) and then bite off his dick.

And that's it. Yes, there's some sub plot about the religious purity, a hint at the mythology of Vagina Dentata (it's real, I guess, look it up) and vauge connections to toxic pollutants and gene mutations, but mostly it's about a the power of womanhood. Or womanness. Of course, this is through the eyes (sometimes peeking through fingers) of a man, which is probably tainting things.

Leaving all that aside and I really like this movie for what it was: Funny, itelligent and gory as all hell.

Am I attracted to dumb?

OK, go here and watch the three videos. Laugh. It's fine. Then explain to me why Dr. Cuddy is totally hot(T) in them. Extra T.

I am the machine. The sum of my routines.

I overselpt this morning. OK, the alarm went off as normal, only when I reached over to slap the snooze button, I must have hit the mute button instead (does my alarm even have a mute bottom?) because one minute I happily slumbering, in a pretty great dream I might add, and the next my eyes pop (like literaly pop) open I'm starring at a clock that says 7:49. I can see it even witout my glasses. Magic vision. And it's the worst feeling ever, right? That "OH CRAP!" sensation, quickly followed by "What the hell happened?" What was supposed to be a nice morning of coffee drinking, cereal eating and book reading (and showering), a routine I have, turned into a mad rush to get clothes on and out the door, so I can be at work by 8. Mission accomplished (this is why I live downtown). Only, now I feel like shit. I have a head ache and for some reason my stomach is making these awful rolling noises (and movements). Plus, I am tired, if that makes any sense? How can I be more tired, when I slept in? Well I am. Also: My mind is fried. Not working correctly at all. Generally SNAFUed, I say.

Rich people stuff.

Is it cool, a day after Christmas, to post about all the stuff you got for Christmas? I'm gonna do it anyway.

Mostly, I got some socks and undershirts, an pretty awesome green sweater, various gift cards and the like. But I also came away with some cool, rich-people stuff.

The highlights:

* A Swiss Army knife. I'm not sure the exact model, but it has a large blade, a small blade, a can opener, bottle opener, a phillip's head screwdriver and a leather punch/sewing deal.

Oddly enough, I've never had a Swiss Army knife before. And I have a few knives, yes. Maybe this isn't rich people stuff, but it's totally nice because cutting loose strings my co-workers' sleeves was getting scary with this.

* A Nixon Private. If you know me, you know I like watches. This one is huge and all black and super SEXY! Congratulations me.

* A fancy-ass Chrome riding jacket. Aside from being made for bike riders (and I ride, some), this jacket just looks cool.

I know Christmas is not about getting stuff (or even giving stuff, really), but I do(seriously and truly) appreciate everything I got. No joke.

So, thanks and love to you.