I am a mess.

Spilled coffee down the front of my shirt, which is fine, it's a dark shirt, it won't stain. But every now and again I catch a whiff or myself and I smell burnt.

Movie review: GI Joe- Rise of Cobra

Reposted from a comment at DumbDrum.

Let’s begin with the fanboy review:

Lame. Lame, lame, lame.
(I’d say SPOILER ALERT, but who cares)

Snakeyes (who everyone thought could save the movie) … lame.
Snakeye’s stupid-ass molded mask … lame.
Snakeyes vs. Stormshadow in what should have been some awesome fight scenes … lame.
Little kid Snakeyes vs. little kid Stormshadow … lame. And cliche.
And maybe stereotypically racist?
Snakeyes and his “vow of silence” … lame.
Stormshadow's un-ninja like white suit … lame.
The Baroness with no accent … lame.
The Baroness’ transition glasses … lame.
The Baroness as Duke’s girlfriend … lame.
Zartan … lame. And underused.
Zartan being in the movie for all of three minutes while being one of its most critical plot points … lame.
Accelerator suits … lame.
Nanomites … lame (though not completely un-GI Joe like).
Destro without his metal face … lame.
Destro WITH his metal face … lame.
“The Doctor” aka Cobra Commander … surprisingly not lame. They got the voice down, though I don’t know why they needed to deviate from the classic shiny silver face mask. Or the cowl.
“The Doctor” and Duke being besties from way back … lame.
Marlon Waylons … surprisingly not lame.
Brendan Fraser’s cameo … lame.
I won’t even get into the whole “international force” deal, because it wouldn’t have bothered me if the rest of the movie wasn’t so … lame.

Now, putting aside the hundred-some comics and closet full of toys, here’s a more impartial review:

GI Joe wasn’t unwatchable, in the way “Spiderman 3″ or “Spawn” or “Street Fighter” (with Jean Claude) were unwatchable. It was generic, sure. And it wasn’t the GI Joe movie I would make (or want to see made), but for those without years of emotional attachment to the characters, it’s a run-of-the-mill action movie that totally connects with little boys.
Yes, it was full of over-loaded action scenes that make it impossible to really tell what’s happening. And yes, instead of coming away awed, you leave a little overwhelmed. But that’s what’s popular these days. No, there wasn’t any real character development, and what was seemed trite and silly. But it’s GI Joe, not Shakespeare.
Think like a 8-year-old boy and you’ll be fine.

What does Pandora say about you?

Apparently it thinks I'm a 14-year old boy with terrible taste in comedy and music. Now, that may be close to true, but I don't need artificial intelligence throwing it in my face.

What I love: Vol 1.

Here's something new. Instead of talking about stuff I want, which is fun, but ultimately unfulfilling, let me talk about stuff I have and/or love.

* Tree of Smoke, by Denis Johnson. It's a novel about the Viet Nam war and spies and stuff. Not quite done with it, but soon. Helps concrete Johnson in as one of my faves.

* Street Sweeper Social Club. Odd, I never really cared that much of Rage Against the Machine. But this ... I love. It's Tom Morello and Boots Riley and I seriously found it via one of those MySpace featured bands deals. "Promenade" kills me.

* ABC's Defying Gravity. I've only seen the premier, but I am impressed. It's very theoretically, especially for broadcast TV, especially in the realm of shows like More to Love and Dating in the Dark. This is science-fiction. Actual science fiction. On normal TV. There's the typical TV-love drama crap too, but ... Don't get the hopes up. It'll be canceled soon.