I want to be a vampire.

So, today my boss told me to look at this. It's the cafepress search for "Twilight." I was shocked. Almost 10,000 pages! WTF??!! Seriously. Some of the stuff was pretty funny (Forget princess, I want to be a vampire). Some of it is creepy (I like my men cold, dead and sparkly). Some some of it is ... I don't know (Edward is a VILF).

If vampires were real, wouldn't this be the perfect way to take over the world (or at least America)? Make teens (and their parents) fall in love the idea of being a vampire, so when they show up it's not all scary like. By the time we realize they want to A.) turn us, or B.) eat us, it will be too late. I'll tell you what, "vegetarian" or no, I see a vampire, I'm staking its heart. Unless it's a sexy female vampire who can keep me in her trance. Then all bets are off.

What I want: Vol. 6

This makes me kinda wish I cared about cars.

As it is, I'd rather have one of these.